Butterfly

Butterfly

The story of a butterfly

Conceived in the secrecy of their passion

A mere egg fertilised and birthed into the world

Crawled her way through childhood like a caterpillar should

Clothed in silk thread – alive with possibilities

Until the world boxed her in

Boys amputating her with their hungry stares

Girls with their whispers shunning her

Puberty catching up...the ugly pimples

All of a sudden she needs to define herself

Who am I?

So she crawls to her shell

As a protective mechanism she hides

In her safe cocoon

Neither speaking up nor shouting out

Just setting up a tent in the comfort of the labels

Yet using the time to find her definition of herself

Then slowly she breaks out of the shell

Rejuvenated...having found her wings

She learns to fly again

She understands that her being is a canvass of many colours

And there and then, she finds her definition

Not just one – but a thousand

How can a being created by a God so indescribable be defined in one sentence?

And as a beautiful butterfly, she soars higher and higher

Painting a rainbow in the clear blue sky

She goes to return

As an egg ready to embark on the journey again!!!

Gone!!!

We have danced, back and forth
To and fro
But mostly we have spun around in circles
Now we right back where we were

My faith in love, in happily-ever afters
My faith in you
My faith is us
But which us? – cause us never really was
But in my mind!!!

So now I’m taking a bow
This is my curtain call
My days of dancing in circles have come to an end
My heart can’t take the heat anymore
Of dancing yet never getting gold
Never being the oNe!!!
But which one? Cause there was never only one with you

The only circle I wanted was the circle of love
Of the covenant of a never-ending bond
But it was never to go there was it???
It existed, but only in my mind
I saw it... but only through my eyes

I guess it’s my fault
For choosing to see not what is but what could be
For holding on to a possibility
That was really slim if I think about it
But I also guess that I held on for as long as I had to
You know the heart
It needs time
It needs proof – blood
To be convinced that it beats in vain

The Father's heart

To have a man take me gently by the hand

To have him lead me safely across the road

To have him look into my eyes and say: I will PROTECT YOU!!!

To have him swing me around the air

To have him throw me up and catch me again

To have him smile widely and say: I will NEVER LET YOU FALL!!!

To have him sit me down on his lap

To have him carry me on his shoulders

To have him tell me: The world is your oyster, Princess!!!

To have a man hold me in his arms

To have a man kiss me on the cheek

Just to say: You are my daughter and I LOVE YOU!!!

If I knew of such a love I would write about it

But I have never had such a man...

“ I held your hand through the years

Led you safely past the stares

of hungry men

When they lured you into their traps with promises for a better life

I gave you courage to see through that

I protected your heart, when you searched for love in the wrong places

I never let it shatter

When you lived life on the edge

Getting high on danger and flirting with death

I caught you

I never let you fall

When you cried I sat you on my lap

I carried you high above your pain

I gave you the world that you desired

All I had, I gave to you

I am God, and I am King

I came to earth to adopt you as mine

I gave up my crown to give you a title

And now I call you My Princess

I held you in my arms

Through your life of rebellion

I kissed you every night

And gave you rest and peace of mind

I whispered in your ear

You are my daughter and I LOVE YOU

I am God, and No, I am not a man

But my love is all that you need

I am God and I am your Father

I Love You, I will protect You,

I will give you all that you desire

I will never ever let you fall

So come to me, because I have always been here”

God and not a man!!!

It is God and not a man that places value on you, woman

It is His word in Proverbs 31

His perception of your heart

That truly defines your worth

The eyes of a man are not of God

That they should measure you

That they should look you up and down

And scrutinize you

That they should label you and deem you

NOT the one!!!

The dreams of a man are limited

The sight of a man is tainted

By preference, subjectivity and bias

And all other things that are human nature

But the heart of God

It sees you drenched in your tears

It sees your scarred body, woman

Your yearn for affection and attention

Your insecurities

Your daddy issues

Your baby-mama drama

Your uncontrollable anger

The heart of God sees you, woman

And it Loves you

It sees you curled up in bed

Haunted by your fears

It sees your desperate need for validation

Your struggle with outer beauty

So the next time a man renders you unlovable

And not worth his standards

Remember

It is not a reflection on you

It is a reflection of his shallow nature

For God’s heart looks at the same picture

And sees a different woman

A woman that Christ had to be crucified for

A damsel in distress to be loved and not judged

A woman of mighty strength

To be healed by His warm embrace

God sees you, woman

God values you, woman

God sees not who you were, but who you are

And who you are yet to become

So seek not to be perfect for a man

But to know God

That you may find refuge in His perfect love

serenity...courage...wisdom

I cannot change how i got to this world
but i have a say in how i get out of it
I cannot change who i was before i got into this circumstance
but i have a say in who i will be when i get out of it
I cannot control who likes me and who doesn't
but i can choose to love myself beyond measure
I cannot control what opportunities I get
But I can control how prepared I am for the opportunities I am graced with
I cannot change the past
but I can change today to change tomorrow
I cannot erase the footsteps behind me
but I can change the course of the footsteps to follow
I cannot control the words and actions directed at me
But I can choose how I let them define me
I cannot change the person sitting next to me
But I can choose what I gain from my encounter with them
I cannot change the whole world
But I can influence one person positively, who can influence another, who can influence another
I cannot change my name
But I can change what it means to me
"Lord give the serenity to accept all the things that I cannot change, the courage to change those that I can... and the wisdom to know the difference"

Mother, Friend, Forever!!!

Mother

I call you mother, because you birthed me
at the tender age of 21, newly-wed - all innocent yourself
younger than I am now
Yet you pushed
against all odds to have me
see the light of day

I call you mother, because you nursed me
with hands as tiny as mine
you rocked me
you fed me - with your adolescent breast
but you kept me
hungry for LIFE

I call you mother, because you lead me
through example you showed me
how to walk, how to talk, how to be
Mother...
You gave me
the gift of words so today I can write this
the love for life so today I shine even brighter than the brightest sun
the ability to laugh so today - i smile at the thought of you

Friend

I call you friend for you listened
You stayed up at night to dry my ever-falling tears
You told me, even truths that I didn't want to hear
because you loved me
more than a mother, more than a friend

I call you friend for you shared with me
your most happiest moments
and in your sorrows you cuddled up beside me
and told me it was all worth it because you had me

Forever

I keep you in my heart - forever
for you left messages for me all over
in notebooks
behind photographs
some whispered in my ears while i was sleeping as a child
as if you knew that I would need them
and you wouldn't be there to give them

I keep you in my heart - forever
for you left me a replica of you - my sister
and now like you were to me
I hope to be - to her
like a mother, like a friend, like forever

I keep you in my heart - forever
for you left me - a family
mothers, friends that i will have forever

I keep you in my heart - forever
and forever I will carry these words that you gave to me

"Likeleli, ngoanak'a, tlou ha e hloloe ke moroalo"
You were right, mother, friend, forever!!!

Poem by Maya Angelou

A friend of mine: Olerato Modubu posted this beautiful in our facebook group, God's Girls... and i just wanted to share it with you all!!! I think it is an amazing illustration of the love of God, it explains in very simple terms what it really means to be Christian!!!
I hope you do enjoy

"When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow.."

Pause, Fastforward, Rewind

you and I share recycled moments
i pause rewind fastforward and play
over and over and over again

I am oblivious to your absence as I

get lost in this fantasy that i have created
a world of my own

i am still caught in the endless web of your smile
heart still racing to your electric finger tips
tounges locked in a moment in time
PAUSE
this moment could last forever

FASTFORWARD
to the moment we shared dancing in the rain

hand in hand...

and my feet slowly follow the rythm of your heartbeat

REWIND

to the moment I first saw you

or did you see me first - I don't remember       

but i remember that eyes met

and the cameras started rolling

if I press STOP then my fantasy ends

so i'll pause, fastforward, rewind and play -

the film of endless love and recycled moments

for you said I could have you in my life forever

Silent Screams

everybody wants to be seen, heard and acknowledged

see me for who i am
and not who you would like me to be
see the dreams that are within me
and see me reaching my goals
see me even if you don't like what you see
i am not a memory to be erased
so see me standing there

hear me and don't just listen
let every word that pours out of my mouth through your ears
into the depths of you
hear my truth too
hear what i have to say about religion, poverty, war, and money
hear what i think of the past and the future
hear my song even though it be out of your tune
hear my voice though it hurt your ears
HEAR MEEEEEEE!!!!!

Acknowledge me for i know you saw me
answer me for i know you heard me
do not pretend i don't exist
do not pretend you cannot see my ackward shadow against the wall
do not pretend you cannot hear my heavy breath in the silence of the night
Acknowledge me
Tell me that you see me
tell me that you hear me

I am IMPORTANT Too!!!

Undefined!!!

I looked into the mirror this morning and I saw…ME!!!

I saw my skin colour…
But today, I chose to look beyond it
I chose to let it not limit me
And to neither let it define me

I saw my Femininity
But today, I decided to disregard it
I chose to feel neither inferior
Nor empowered by it

I looked into the mirror this morning and I saw… ME!!!

Silently I took myself in
Stripping myself of all the labels that had been given to me
I saw my “intelligence” lying beside my eye-glasses on my bed-side table
My “elegance” lying beside my fake pearls
My “simple beauty” hidden under my weave with my natural hair
My “sweetness” concealed along with my “white grin”
And I realised that without them…I am still ME!!!

I looked into the mirror this morning and I saw…ME!!!
Undefined!!! Simply ME!!!

seeking you - Likeleli

the road to seeking God's truth is not easy, and it is a one-man road

On my journey to God-discovery I learned about seeking God not because there's something in it, but because of a desire to build a relationship with Him...everything else is but a bonus

This poem is just really a small part of my journey, but it says a lot:

I sought my purpose
I sought my dream
I sought my vision
And You said to me
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness"

I misunderstood
And sought religion
A set of standards
A lifestyle
I sought to tithe for reward
I sought to pray for an answer
And You said to me
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness"

I sought to sing
I sought to write
I sought success
In the name of Christ
And You said
"All these things shall be added unto You"

So I sought afresh
And I sought Your face
I sought Your truth
I sought Your presence
And You gave me vision, purpose and dreams
Rewards, awards, songs, words and You said
"You sought my kingdom and you sought my righteousness
And all these things have been added unto you"

Woman, you belong!!! - by Nomonde Mapasa

Last year, at around August...I asked a very good friend of mine to write about what she thought about women.

Whether African women (in general), we any different from any other woman...
She got so inspired by the challenge...and it took her about six months to write the following poem!
And I love it so much that I asked for her permission to share it with you...I know for sure that you will enjoy this one:

"Woman you belonged to them from birth,
Her that bore you belonged to him that laid with her to conceive you,
It's the same for man at birth 'till they come of age,

For you, woman there is no coming of age to belong to self, you were bred to be his strength and weakness, you were bred to belong to him and be defined by him (as much as you were by your own thoughts) , you are to be him in strength and fault, still you are to cover him where he could not cover himself,

Would this fact make you worthless?
Nay, it's in fact the opposite, you were bred to be worth more than what earth has put forth over countless years,

In his absences you are to be him and survive,
In his absences you are to be him and mould them that were given to you and him,
In his absences you are to be him and you 'till you join him,

Would this fact make you worthless?
Nay, in fact it means you have the strength of thousands of men and it makes you worth more than anything else a man is to find on earth,

Woman you belong to him and still he is to treat you as his equal,
Woman yo belong to him and he to love you with everything he is,
Woman you belong to him and still he is to not hurt one strand on you,
Woman you belong to him and still you are his very heart and without you there is no life,

I believe this was the breed that roamed, they belonged until men had only girls as children and instilled what they would if they had boys, can we blame them?"

The Potter - by Likeleli

This one is my favourite poem, it reflects my understanding of God's role is in my life - which is, He is my creator and the one who holds the purpose of my life in His hands.
It was inspired by a sermon by ps At Boshoff @ CRC

"You formed me from the mire clay
Made of soil and water and a breath of life
You shaped me for your day
For your purpose you called me alive

as a formless seed you perceived me perfect
you looked at a rough draft of my design and said: it is good!!!
In my brokenness you found me intact
At my completion you looked again and declared: it is good!!!

You formed me in your likeness
I am like clay on a potter's wheel
When I'm marred by circumstances and blinded by darkness
You break me down to make me and perceive me perfect still

I do not dare question your calling for my life
I do not dare jump off the Potter's wheel
Not before my time has arrived
For incomplete I cannot serve the Potter's will

You formed me from the mire clay
You began my creation with the end in mind
You created me for this day
I am perfected under the Potter's light!!!"

Xoxo...

"walking"...Zora Howard

I have a love affair with poetry... I'm a sucker for good words. I've often fallen for guys just because they are articulate and can express themselves well...me and poetry together forever!!!

So I thought I should start a blog...my own poetry corner. Here, I will write some of my best origional work, and then also some of my favourite poems from my favourite poets...feel free to post your poems as well as comments.

The one poem that speaks to me as a woman is by Zora Howard and it's called walking. Tried googling the words but couldn't find them so you all will have to trust my listening abilities... Feel free to correct me where I didn't hear well, the errors will be minimal...but they will be there.

" He meant to say: I never met a lyrical goddess that uses hyphens to prove that, really, God is
I thought Nephrotite was dead and never wanted to believe in queens except for Queen "B's" like lil kim
Who etched the milky way on the small of your back so saturn's ring shake everytime your hips sway?
I watched your walk uprooting the cement and thought: if only for a sec the sun would fingerpaint my face and you'd stop walking towards Mecca,
Lady!!! Image your soul in my direction, I (want to) follow and learn...

But he said: eyo, Ma!!! Don't you know your curves tingle my nerves?
Let me rephrase, you walking from school must mean you got good "brain" and I would like to arrange some "tutoring"

And with his eyes I let him amputate me, (lowered) my chin so when he wished I'd already be on my knees
Promised a quarter plastic rings, he proposes and I squeeze my queendom in one size smaller apple-bottom jeans and then I could really be wifey
He told me God was missing me since I fell from the sky,

And though his metaphor was clever, I could never smile cause every night since I was nine my daddy told me I truly was an angel
Every night he'd sing me flat lullabies, he's make me promise to always walk like a woman did

With the sons of a nation complacent in the crook of your neck
With prayers of pigtail potential up your ribcage like vines
Balance your children's infinities in your hips
And carry divinity in your chin
Try not to trip
Walk hard little angel
He meant even when masses have tied your tounge to your soft palate
And given you a bounty of ebonics, manage to sing
With rythm and blues in your keys, write your own melodies

So I sang the sharp harmonies to my daddy's bedtime stories
But back when we used to hide candy wrappers in jean pockets,
Now we hide condom wrappers and daddy, I'm scared I've forgotten your lyric
Cause every song I sing ends with "shorty"
And everytime I walk someone calls "shorty"
We used to sip cherry pop, now we count cherries popped
Our skin doesn't shine like the moon but every shooting star we've ever wished upon ends on our laps
We used to count ourselves as daughters of eve but I figure we must be a generation of apple-tree serpents cause everytime I walk someone wants to psssss at me...
"Yo mommy", "yo baby"
Your mommies, your babies...

If you lifted your eyes from her face maybe you'd see your sister in her face, and hear her heart trying to break free...I'm still walking
Cause I promised my daddy I'd never rest , he said "woman, walk hard" and I've been walking ever since,
My feet aren't clean
I've got corns for every corner I've ever been called pretty
My soles are calloused for every step after that before he told me: he was only kidding but does believe he has a bright future in my jeans...when I say my soul is calloused!!!

So I'm asking my daddy to re-teach me those lyrics,
And to every ten year-olds on this street that still hop scotch but suck more than butter-scotch
- I implore you
Teach them back to these little boys that play with rubber toys that teach them how to be soldiers, but never how to be fathers
Bullet proof vests and finger stuck in their jeans, that teach them how to be gangsters so they don't find time to dream
Teach them how to ice swollen wombs where infants of dry placentas tug at women who can not give any longer
I wanna learn back the words to that song "her body is sacred and his mind is stronger"
But I can't teach you how to say it...I'm too busy Walking!!!

Shooooo, that was long!!! But writting it just gave me goosebumps.
This woman is a great writer, hope you enjoy it. And check the vid out on you-tube
I